Black and White thinking and more.
February 8, 2010 | 28 Comments
I recently posted a blog called The Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent. Some overly sensitive folks, perhaps those with a bit of a guilty conscience, attacked my ideas with a vengeance! Some of you pointed out how you let your kid have a television in their bedroom and the kid still got straight A’s at school. Good for you! Some argued you often don’t know where your kid is and don’t need to because you have a great kid you can completely trust. Good for you again! Some of you even argued that it wasn’t necessary to be the kind of person you wanted your child to become. Seriously? Okay then, good for you one more time!
Do what you want to do and let your kid do exactly as they please. Go ahead and roll the dice with your child’s future. If that is your stance on responsible parenting, then get after it. Let’s see how that works out for you when your 25 year old wants to move back into their old bedroom because they can’t make it in the real world. When your kid can’t get through your front door because they are wider than the doorframe. When your little princess can’t pay her bills because she never learned how to be responsible enough to even show up to work on time. When your teen is charged as a sex offender for sexting, or shows up pregnant or with an STD. Or when they excitedly call and brag that they are about to be on a reality television show! Won’t you be proud then? When those or any number of other things happen, maybe then you will look at my list and think again about good parenting and bad parenting.
Before any of you blow a gasket, all of those things can still happen regardless of what you’ve done. I get it. I covered that whole concept in Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults. I know that sometimes, you can do everything right and it all still goes wrong. Not often, but sometimes. So don’t write me and say, “yeah but . . . “ I get it. Move along. And for those of you who have written me saying I wish I had taken a stance with my kid earlier because now they are teenagers and I can’t get back in control. I get that too. I wish you had as well. But it’s not too late. You can still re-establish communications and make things better. Maybe not perfect again, but better. And for all who have told me how my ideas have helped them with their kids, thank you especially!
Now on to my real point!
How do you eat an elephant?
April 15, 2009 | 14 Comments
One bite at a time! Old joke. Sage advice. And it applies to what most people are going through right now in terms of their lives, their health, their relationships and their money.
People are looking for miracles of a large scale to fix their problems. That simply isn’t how it works. There are no quick fixes – no miracles – no overnight successes – no silver bullets.
When you suddenly look in the mirror and see a big fat person looking back at you – it should hit you that you didn’t get fat overnight. But seeing yourself like that can create a sense of urgency in you that demands action. At that point, you want the old you back as quickly as you can find them so you start on a program to get back to the old self you used to be. Sadly, many people go to drastic measures and expect all the fat to drop off immediately. So they indulge in ridiculous diets that put their health at risk or have liposuction or gastric bypass surgery. Any sane person realizes that long-term weight loss doesn’t work that way. That is why most of those approaches don’t yield long term change. You didn’t gain the weight overnight and you aren’t going to lose it all overnight. It is going to take time. Planning. There will be ups and downs. There will be setbacks. You will be disappointed and disillusioned. You will want to give up. But you know if you just keep your head down and stay focused, eventually the weight will come off.
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