Black and White thinking and more.
February 8, 2010 | 28 Comments
I recently posted a blog called The Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent. Some overly sensitive folks, perhaps those with a bit of a guilty conscience, attacked my ideas with a vengeance! Some of you pointed out how you let your kid have a television in their bedroom and the kid still got straight A’s at school. Good for you! Some argued you often don’t know where your kid is and don’t need to because you have a great kid you can completely trust. Good for you again! Some of you even argued that it wasn’t necessary to be the kind of person you wanted your child to become. Seriously? Okay then, good for you one more time!
Do what you want to do and let your kid do exactly as they please. Go ahead and roll the dice with your child’s future. If that is your stance on responsible parenting, then get after it. Let’s see how that works out for you when your 25 year old wants to move back into their old bedroom because they can’t make it in the real world. When your kid can’t get through your front door because they are wider than the doorframe. When your little princess can’t pay her bills because she never learned how to be responsible enough to even show up to work on time. When your teen is charged as a sex offender for sexting, or shows up pregnant or with an STD. Or when they excitedly call and brag that they are about to be on a reality television show! Won’t you be proud then? When those or any number of other things happen, maybe then you will look at my list and think again about good parenting and bad parenting.
Before any of you blow a gasket, all of those things can still happen regardless of what you’ve done. I get it. I covered that whole concept in Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults. I know that sometimes, you can do everything right and it all still goes wrong. Not often, but sometimes. So don’t write me and say, “yeah but . . . “ I get it. Move along. And for those of you who have written me saying I wish I had taken a stance with my kid earlier because now they are teenagers and I can’t get back in control. I get that too. I wish you had as well. But it’s not too late. You can still re-establish communications and make things better. Maybe not perfect again, but better. And for all who have told me how my ideas have helped them with their kids, thank you especially!
Now on to my real point!
Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent
January 25, 2010 | 37 Comments
There are many signs that parents aren’t doing a good job as parents. All you have to do is look around at the millions of people living out the results of their own bad parenting to know that. Take a moment and look at these ten signs and evaluate how you are doing:
Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent
If you don’t know where your child is right now,
you are a bad parent.
If your child is obese,
you are a bad parent.
If your child has a television in their bedroom,
you are a bad parent.
If you don’t know your child’s friends,
you are a bad parent.
If you tolerate disrespect from your child verbally or physically, you are a bad parent.
If you promise consequences for either good behavior or bad behavior and don’t deliver, you are a bad parent.
If you don’t teach your child about money,
you are a bad parent.
If you don’t have open, honest communication with your child about sex; the dangers, consequences and joy of it,
you are a bad parent.
If your grown child still lives at home and mooches off you,
you are a bad parent.
If your own life is an example of what you don’t want your child to grow up and become, you are a bad parent.
Some of you are now spewing and sputtering and shouting “yeah but” at me because your kids are great yet they have a TV in their room or are overweight or blah, blah, blah-de-blah-de-blah! Okay, you can tell yourself that, and since I don’t know you or your kid I’ll step back and give you the benefit of the doubt. But I still don’t believe you. Just because you don’t see the harmful results of your action or inaction today, doesn’t mean that you won’t later.
“But I genuinely LOVE my kids Larry!”
I’m sure you do. But we have to stop pretending that the definition of being a good parent is “loving your child.” Parenting is MORE than love. Parenting is loving your child enough to make sure you produce a responsible, productive fit adult who lives a life steeped in honesty, integrity and respect. An adult with a strong work ethic who knows how to give her word and keep it even when it isn’t convenient. A person who knows how to be financially responsible by earning, investing, saving, giving and enjoying their money. That requires communication, involvement, education, discipline and punishment. It requires work. Love without the actions to back it up doesn’t really mean much.
If you want proof about the damaging effects of these ten signs and more, read my book, Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible Productive Adults. Go to www.yourkidsareyourownfault.com
Fan or Fanatic? Which are you?
July 12, 2009 | 53 Comments
Fan or fanatic? Do you know the difference? I am continually astonished that many people don’t. It seems that for many, they are unable to draw a line between being a fan and being a fanatic.
A fan is someone who likes football. They watch it, follow it, go to some games, and talk about it with their friends. A fanatic is a person who rounds up six of his buddies, paints their big ol’ beer bellies with the letters C-O-W-B-O-Y-S (or any other team) and then takes their shirts off at the game even when the temperature is freezing. They somehow think that their fat, hairy, letter-painted bellies are going to cause their team to win. No one really likes these guys and we all think they are pitiful jokes, however, they are the ones who get their painted bellies on TV. Just like many of the fanatics on some of the evening cable news programs: I know Glenn Beck and Keith Olberman have painted bellies under their suits!
Pro-life/pro-choice. A fan of pro-life votes their conscience on that issue or go to a church that supports their belief or may send money to support politicians who believe the way they do. A fanatic kills an abortion doctor. See how the difference betweens a fan and a fanatic can turn ugly?
It’s Easier To Be Stupid
June 27, 2009 | 38 Comments
That’s right. It’s easier to be stupid than it is be smart.
It is easier to listen to the political pundits and television news anchors and trust their words completely than it is to study, read, and search to discover the truth about a political issue or to actually read one of the bills or proposals you are so vehemently for or against.
It is easier to believe Rush or O’Reilly or Hannity or Olberman or Rachel or Beck or even Larry Winget than it is to actually do a little fact checking of your very own. It’s work to find the truth out about any issue, so it’s easier to just accept what you hear as fact.
It is easier to listen to the preachers and believe every word they say from their pulpit than it is to read the book yourself, or maybe lots of books and search for your own insight and develop your beliefs based on your own experiences.
It’s easier to just toe the party line because you are registered Democrat or Republican than it is to ask whether the party line makes sense or not.
Fly the friendly, low-fat skies of United!
April 23, 2009 | 53 Comments
Let’s say you have a designated parking spot in a lot that you pay for and some guy rents the space right next to you where he parks his Ford F350 dually taking up his space and half of yours. You can’t get your doors open. Your car gets dinged every time he opens his door. Your car no longer fits in the space you pay for because his hangs out in front, in back and on both sides. Would you cry foul? Sure you would. Would you eventually go to the parking lot owner with the argument that his car is so big that it takes up his space and yours too and that isn’t fair? Yes you would. And you would expect the parking lot owner to take action on your behalf. Your argument would be if the car he drives by choice takes up two spots then maybe he should pay for two spots! And you would be right!
United Airlines has decided if you hang over into the seats around you, then you have to buy a second seat. Fat people and their support groups around the country are screaming, “Unfair!” What’s unfair about it? If you take up two seats, you pay for two seats. Just like when you take up two parking places!
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