Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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The Wheel That Doesn’t Squeak

Most people do the right thing. Most people work. Most people pay their bills. Most people do a pretty good job of raising their kids. Most folks are fairly kind and charitable and do the best they can with the information they have.  As tough as I am on people, I believe that folks are basically good somewhere down deep in their hearts. They may do stupid things from time to time, but they are good folks at a core level. At least I hope so.

But there are no headlines for these folks. The headlines and the news stories go to the few, not the many. The attention goes to the few who make the most noise, the squeaky wheels of society.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease and the grease is attention.  And sadly attention only makes the wheel squeak louder and seems to create even more squeaky wheels.

Every group from the NRA to the Tea Party Movement to the women’s groups and gay and lesbian associations, churches, most professional associations and organizations, from animal rights to civil rights  - right down to both the Republican and Democratic parties.  All have extremist faction that steal the attention from the people in the middle that the organization was intended to represent. Every group.

Every business has policies that punish the many because of the stupid actions of the few. Very few people write bad checks or return stuff after it’s been used and on and on but businesses write policies that will effect the 97% in a negative way simply because the 3% is stupid.

The TSA punishes the many, including those who are obviously no threat to anyone, to find the few who might possibly blow up a plane with 4 ounces of shampoo. Or baby food. Or arthritis ointment.

10% Unemployed, yet 90% employed.

20% chance of rain, yet 80% chance of sunshine.

12% in default on their mortgages, 88% making their payments.

The extremists and the radicals get the attention.  Not the calm, reasonable, responsible folks.

Beck, Hannity, Olberman, Maddow, Rush, Sharpton, Pelosi (this list could go on a while so I’ll stop now); these folks get all the face time and the attention and the headlines.  Want a reasonable exchange of ideas from the bulk of the people who make up the middle eighty percent?  Won’t happen.  The extreme 10% on both ends of an idea are going to yell and blame and name call and a camera and a reporter will be right there in the middle of it to keep us all informed of every extreme idea.  All while the thoughtful middle gets left behind.

Lindsay Lohan, the Jersey Shore Idiots, the Housewives of who-gives-a-crap, the Bachelor/Bachelorette, the Tools of Tool Academy and all the other idiots get the media and not the solid happily married, fully-functioning “celebrities” who live quiet lives and do their job (act) and stay out of the limelight.

Of course, there is a lot going wrong in business, government, among individuals, etc. and I am the first to point it out. And I see great value in pointing out the stupidity of it all in order to show what should NOT be done. That is my style: figure out what you are doing that’s stupid and stop doing it.  (Remember, People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It)  However, when it comes to the media, there is a lot going right that also deserves some attention. Some attention of the idiots is to be expected and I even enjoy a bit of it.  But there are a lot of folks who ARE employed and paying their bills and their mortgages and are working hard at being the best version of themselves they can be using what they’ve got in the midst of tough times.   I’d just like to see some attention go to that point every once in a while: the folks who don’t squeak.

The solution? I’m not sure. Seriously, I don’t have a great answer but it ticks me off that the idiots get ALL of the attention.  No lesson to be learned here and no solutions. Sorry, I wish I had more for you but I just don’t.  Therefore this is just a rant.

I know there are 15M people out of work – but do they all have to be? There are hundreds of thousands of jobs available TODAY that can’t be filled. Why not? It seems to me that people are just too lazy to do the work. In fact, why should they work? Where is the incentive? We have extended unemployment benefits to the point that some people find it easier NOT to work than to actually take a job.

I just watched a Fox News report about a woman who had just stopped looking for work. When they asked her why she had stopped, she said, “Because there is nothing out there.” I call bullshit on that one. There just isn’t anything out there that suits this woman’s vision of herself. Get a clue Sweetheart, you aren’t too good to do anything that brings in a paycheck. Get over yourself.

I had a guy write me this week on my Facebook fan page (http://www.larrywinget.com/facebook.html) saying he had stopped looking for work as well. His comment was “ I am worth more than $10 an hour.” Really? If you are an able-bodied person sitting on your butt watching television and drawing unemployment or any other government assistance when there is a job you could take and yet you don’t take it, I will agree, you are not worth $10 an hour – you aren’t worth ANYTHING!!!! You are a loser! A lazy good for nothing loser.

I walked through my local mall this weekend and saw 3 retail stores with “Taking Applications-Hiring Now-Apply Within” signs in the windows. (On Wednesday, there were only two signs yet by Saturday there were three.) Wouldn’t you think that a store would have hundreds, if not thousands of applications on file already? Wouldn’t you think that every employee who already works there would have friends who need a job and they could make a few calls and have there friends come down to work a little retail to pay their bills? And even if that is not the case, how could that sign be up for more than about ten minutes without a line running out the door to take those jobs? How can the newspaper have hundreds and hundreds of ads in the Help Wanted section when 15M don’t have jobs? How can the internet job posting sites be full of job postings when there are NO jobs available and 15M people out of work? HOW? HOW? HOW?

I was in a local pet store last week where the clerk was telling me how she was about to go to her second job. I asked her how she could find two jobs when 15M can’t seem to find one job. She responded with “There’s always SOMETHING, if you are willing to do ANYTHING.” BINGO!!! How can so many people have two jobs when so many people can’t seem to find one job?

It is because we have a society with a sense of entitlement that think they have to find their “dream job.” In fact, that’s about as far as some folks get: they dream of having a job when they could just go get one!

Or they believe they absolutely must be paid now what they used to be paid because that is what they are worth. These are probably the same people who want the house they couldn’t afford in the first place to be worth what it was in the inflated housing market of three years ago! They never think that maybe there was an inflated job market as well. These folks have an inflated sense of their own worth.

Many think they need a “career” instead of just a job. I actually had a woman write me saying she wasn’t going to take just any job just so she could be employed. She was looking for something to do that she could love and would fulfill her passion! What? How about taking a job to feed your kids? Aren’t you passionate about doing the right thing? Putting food of the table for your children? No, wait, WE will do that for her!!!! She doesn’t have to! All of us who work for a living and pay taxes, own small businesses and pay payroll/employment taxes, WE pay for those who suddenly find it easier to stay home instead of taking a job they feel is beneath them. I have a job for those of you who feel ANYTHING is beneath you, it’s under a rock! Because you are a snake.

There are jobs out there so get off your butt and go to work for any amount of money . Why? Because it is the right thing to do! Get out of your ego and go sweep floors, clean toilets, sell door to door, mow lawns, paint numbers of sidewalks, whatever you can find. I know my stance will bring out the folks with their many excuses about how wrong I am. I’ll just bet they are out of work too. They will say “Larry you don’t understand.” You are SO right about that one. I don’t understand. I have been out of work. I wasn’t too good to do whatever it took. I went from being the president of my company to mowing yards and raking leaves. I sold plasma and nearly everything I owned. I took whatever I could find because I had bills to pay and a family to support.  I was humiliated and embarrassed and it didn’t matter.  I had bills to pay so how I “felt” didn’t matter.  So for the excuse-ridden folks who want to argue with me, go argue with the people with two jobs or who have had to settle for whatever they could find so they could pay their bills. Those good folks won’t complain about a word I’ve said here. I have gotten letters from people who have held up to 5 part-time jobs at the same time – people who get no sleep – struggle every day to do what they have to do and deal with what they have to do without, yet feel thankful they have they have the ability to do anything. Those people won’t complain about what I’ve said here one bit. The people who fill their lives with excuses, sit on their butts and give up will bitch, moan, complain and BLAME!!!!!

Are there people who are legitimately in trouble? Of course. Are there people who are trying and not having much luck? Of course. Are there areas of the country that are in more trouble than other areas? Of course, again. Are there 15M jobs out there for the 15M unemployed? Of course NOT. But there are some jobs out there who need willing workers to fill them.  There are companies who are hiring. What about those jobs? Couldn’t someone take those jobs? There are always going to be jobs to fill – are there going to be people who are willing to do whatever it takes to fill them?  Stand in line for hours?  Humble themselves a bit?  Suck it up and deal their ego?  Do the honorable thing?  WORK is honorable.

There just isn’t the incentive to work that there once was and I think that is because the negatives aren’t negatives any longer.  There was a time when there was a stigma associated with bankruptcy and losing your house to foreclosure. Now that isn’t the case. In fact, there are some financial experts suggesting those things are the “smart” thing to do. Your house goes down in value?  Throw the keys in and walk away with no guilt - no remorse - no hard feelings.  When all of those things were considered to be bad, there was great personal incentive to keep them from happening. That is no longer the case. As an “expert” said to me the other day on a panel on Fox Business “if you did those things, you would be in good company.” Really? That’s what we call “good company?” How sad. How pitiful. How disgusting.

These are matters of integrity. Which many have lost. There are people who should be ashamed of themselves for their laziness, lack of personal integrity, work ethic and for the example they are setting for their own children. There is WORK to be done and there are out-of-work people who just aren’t willing to do it. As I have said before, “Life is NOT full of the have’s and the have-not’s but of the will’s and the will-not’s. People have not because they will not.”

Here is something else to think about that will fire some folks up: We wonder why we have illegal aliens here? I believe part of the reason is that we have way too many Americans who think they are too good to work! So we have to have illegal aliens or the jobs wouldn’t get done! Don’t like that? I don’t either – but it’s true! And I am not pro-illegal alien – in fact, I am far from it. I am just saying they fill a void that is not filled by the folks who live here. I don’t think the illegals are stealing our jobs – I believe they are taking jobs that Americans think they are too good to do. But that’s another story and another rant.

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE POSTING YOUR COMMENTS:

This is NOT a political posting. This is not about Obama, the liberals, the conservatives, the Republicans, the Democrats, Sarah Palin, the Tea Party Movement, Glenn Beck, Hannity or A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G that could even remotely be considered political. This rant isn’t about immigration. This rant is about the disappointment I have in people that who have put their ego above their sense of personal integrity. If anyone posts a comment that wants to trash Obama or the government or the job stimulus package it will not be approved. Why? Because you will have missed the point entirely and your point is not worthy of being posted. I am sick of people twisting the point to fit their personal political agenda and going off on inappropriate tangents and name-calling sprees. I am a supporter of free speech and will fight for your right to say whatever you want – however, I don’t have to post it!

THANKS! And thanks especially to all of you who are busting your humps out there doing whatever you have to do to keep your commitments and take care of yourself and your family!

Do what you want to do and let your kid do exactly as they please. Go ahead and roll the dice with your child’s future. If that is your stance on responsible parenting, then get after it. Let’s see how that works out for you when your 25 year old wants to move back into their old bedroom because they can’t make it in the real world. When your kid can’t get through your front door because they are wider than the doorframe. When your little princess can’t pay her bills because she never learned how to be responsible enough to even show up to work on time. When your teen is charged as a sex offender for sexting, or shows up pregnant or with an STD. Or when they excitedly call and brag that they are about to be on a reality television show! Won’t you be proud then? When those or any number of other things happen, maybe then you will look at my list and think again about good parenting and bad parenting.

Before any of you blow a gasket, all of those things can still happen regardless of what you’ve done. I get it. I covered that whole concept in Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults. I know that sometimes, you can do everything right and it all still goes wrong. Not often, but sometimes. So don’t write me and say, “yeah but . . . “ I get it. Move along. And for those of you who have written me saying I wish I had taken a stance with my kid earlier because now they are teenagers and I can’t get back in control. I get that too. I wish you had as well. But it’s not too late. You can still re-establish communications and make things better. Maybe not perfect again, but better. And for all who have told me how my ideas have helped them with their kids, thank you especially!

Now on to my real point!

Some of you have really had your blood pressure soar about my black and white approach to self-improvement, finances, parenting and life in general. You have pointed out that there are several areas that really are gray when it comes to life. No kidding? Thanks for pointing that out to me. I had NO IDEA that was the case. How could I know that? I have never had a problem or faced a challenge. I have never raised teenagers, had money issues, been married or divorced, held a job, managed people, driven down the street, eaten out, bought anything, had a bill, or had to make a tough decision. Never. None of those things. I have lived a completely sheltered life in a cave blessed with only positive thoughts and outcomes. I have attracted all of my success through The Secret and The Law Of Attraction. I have never had a real life facing all of the things real people face and I honestly had no idea that life had any gray areas.

Come on folks, I know life if full of gray areas. It’s just that I think we have all become way too comfortable living in those gray areas. Gray areas used to be little tiny corners we could escape to in order to justify our stupid actions and results. Now the gray areas are everywhere! Our homes, our businesses, our government, our society, our grocery stores, in our books, and all over our televisions. Our leaders spew gray and drape it red, white and blue. Things are so gray that when someone actually draws a line and paints one side black and the other side white, it bothers the hell out of people! We have become comfortable and embraced the gray areas way too much and shied away from the uncomfortable realities of black and white. I want people to begin to think more in terms of black and white. Right or wrong. Good or bad. People need to understand they are either doing enough or they aren’t doing enough. We need to recognize we are either giving our best or we aren’t. You are either on the way, or you are in the way. You are either living within your means or you aren’t.  It’s either the truth or it’s a lie.

It’s easier to live in the black and white world. That’s why I am so confused by those who love the gray area so much. When faced with a decision, you just make it quickly based on whether it is the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do. You don’t have to wallow in it, meditate on it, study it, consider it, hold a focus group, or take a vote. You DO the right thing.

Why? Because you can. All it takes is some guts. A backbone. A pair.

You will be criticized for it. Trust me, I know. Who cares? You will be given grief at work for kissing up by doing your job when others are slacking. Tell them to kiss off. Your friends will give you crap about being too tough on your kids. They will laugh at you for saying no to spending money when you know you can’t afford it. They will ridicule you for not taking the easy road when you know you should take the right road. Those people are not your friends, dump them. Now. And never look back.

Do the right thing in your life every time to the best of your ability. You won’t be perfect at it. I’m certainly not. I mess up every day and slip and slide around in the gray area, just like everyone else. But every day, I remind myself I can do a little better; take more of a stand for what I know is right and take action on it. That’s all it takes: a decision to do it, a willingness to take action, the humility to admit you aren’t doing your best, the honestly to confront yourself for it, and the willingness to keep on doing what you know is right regardless of the consequences. Yep, that’s it: it’s black or white.

Larry Recommends…

Check out my new book, Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults. It’s the most important thing I have ever written. And if it helps you raise a more productive, responsible person, then I have done an important job.

http://www.larrywinget.com/yourkids.html

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Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent

If you don’t know where your child is right now,
you are a bad parent.

If your child is obese,
you are a bad parent.

If your child has a television in their bedroom,
you are a bad parent.

If you don’t know your child’s friends,
you are a bad parent.

If you tolerate disrespect from your child verbally or physically, you are a bad parent.

If you promise consequences for either good behavior or bad behavior and don’t deliver, you are a bad parent.

If you don’t teach your child about money,
you are a bad parent.

If you don’t have open, honest communication with your child about sex; the dangers, consequences and joy of it,
you are a bad parent.

If your grown child still lives at home and mooches off you,
you are a bad parent.

If your own life is an example of what you don’t want your child to grow up and become, you are a bad parent.

Some of you are now spewing and sputtering and shouting “yeah but” at me because your kids are great yet they have a TV in their room or are overweight or blah, blah, blah-de-blah-de-blah! Okay, you can tell yourself that, and since I don’t know you or your kid I’ll step back and give you the benefit of the doubt. But I still don’t believe you. Just because you don’t see the harmful results of your action or inaction today, doesn’t mean that you won’t later.

“But I genuinely LOVE my kids Larry!”

I’m sure you do. But we have to stop pretending that the definition of being a good parent is “loving your child.” Parenting is MORE than love. Parenting is loving your child enough to make sure you produce a responsible, productive fit adult who lives a life steeped in honesty, integrity and respect. An adult with a strong work ethic who knows how to give her word and keep it even when it isn’t convenient. A person who knows how to be financially responsible by earning, investing, saving, giving and enjoying their money. That requires communication, involvement, education, discipline and punishment. It requires work. Love without the actions to back it up doesn’t really mean much.

If you want proof about the damaging effects of these ten signs and more, read my book, Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible Productive Adults. Go to www.yourkidsareyourownfault.com